Relationship Attachment Model

 Hello everyone! I hope you all had a great week and are ready to get right into this week’s topic. If I’m being honest, I have not been as excited for this post. Dating is not my favorite thing to talk about for a couple reasons. I haven’t been on many dates and the few that I have been on have been far from fun. This week in class we talked a lot about dating, how it has changed, and what makes a good relationship. I thought it was so interesting that we talked about this because I attended a class with my roommate this week about dating. Her friend is teaching the class based off the book, “How to Avoid Falling in Love with a Jerk”. It was perfect timing because it I was able to use what I learned in her class for this class. When dating it’s important to make sure you’re spending quality time together. Quality time isn’t scrolling through social media or constantly watching movies/tv. I’ve had a few roommates who will spend their evening with their significant other, but they aren’t talking because they’re watching movies. Communication is a crucial part when dating and throughout a relationship. When you are constantly doing things where you can’t talk, you can’t get to know each other. I’m going to attach a picture to this post which is what I want to focus on. When I learned about the Relationship Attachment Model it immediately made sense. The R.A.M model is supposed to be sequential and reciprocal. When I attended my friends’ class, she emphasized the idea that you should trust your partner before you touch. Where I am currently attending school, it’s very common for people to have a NCMO (non-committal make out). These scenarios naturally never lead to anything else because they are very physical from the beginning. Going back to the R.A.M model each column is supposed to follow each other. The relationship should start with getting to know the other person to your best ability. As you get to know that person you begin to build trust. Then you should be able to rely on them before you move on to commitment. Once you have a solid relationship you are able to move on to the final stage of touch. This model is a great way to build trust and a healthy foundation for a relationship because it allows you to get to know the other person without intimacy getting in the way. I think it’s also important while you’re getting to know the person to pay close attention to how they treat strangers, friends, and family. When you look at those relationships you are able to understand who they really are and make sure that they aren’t acting different around you in order to impress you. The last thing we discussed in the class was to avoid rushing into a relationship. The teacher suggested at least a 90-day probation period because patterns don’t become apparent until at least the third month. The author of the book also emphasized that you don’t need to flee at the first sign of jerk behavior. I think this is where communication comes in. If you don’t know the other person you aren’t able to communicate your concerns with them.  I started the week out being very skeptical about dating. I grew to love the discussions we had in class as well as the dating class I attended. I want to implement these ideas into my future relationships because it’s a great way to build a strong foundation.