Affection in the Home

 Hello everyone! I am once again so excited to share my thoughts this week! I’ve typically struggled to narrow down my topic idea, but this week I knew exactly what I wanted to write about. I thought the topic of affection would be interesting to discuss because everyone has a different experience with it. I was very interested during class to hear about different families and if they showed affection to each other growing up. I’ve talked with my roommates about it the past week and I think it’s so cool that we each felt similar or completely different about it. Growing up my parents would tuck me in to bed every night and give me a kiss. They did this until I started to go through puberty and was “too cool” to show affection to them. I also remember hugging my dad and it would turn into something that lasted longer than a typical hug. I felt safe in his arms and didn’t want to let go. He always knew to hug me when I was upset because that was one of the only ways to comfort me. I think this is one of the main reasons why I love hugging so much. I have been a hugger for as long as I can remember. It was shocking to me when I discovered that not everyone was the same way. I’ve had a few roommates that aren’t huggers but because they know that I like hugs they typically will still hug me. I talked to some of them about why they didn’t like hugging and the common answer was that they just weren’t raised that way. I have a family member who always made her kids hug everyone whether they were family or not. I’ve noticed that her kids seem to have problems when they leave them with a babysitter. There could be many reasons for this. Either they don’t receive affection from their parents, or they feel forced to show affection. I think it’s important for children to lead affection. If they don’t want to hug someone or kiss them on the cheek, then they shouldn’t be forced into it. That can cause emotional problems and even attachment issues. I believe that I had a great relationship with my parents and they always respected my boundaries. When I didn’t want to hug them or when I didn’t want them to tuck me in to bed anymore, I didn’t have to. This week I learned that kids who aren’t shown affection can struggle with mental health, self-esteem, and not be able to relate as well to other people’s emotions. Some of the benefits of affection are happiness, being able to handle stress, you don’t typically struggle with mental health, and you can relate to others who are struggling. One of the most important benefits for me personally is having good mental health and being able to relate to others. I personally struggle with anxiety, but when I am able to talk to others about my thoughts and feelings or even listen to what they are going through, I’m able to get through it. I love being able to listen to people and I always feel good when they come to me for advice and help. When I have a family, I want to be affectionate with my husband and children. I also want to respect their boundaries and understand what they do and don’t like. I would love to hear any personal stories you have or even your opinion! Affection means something different to everyone and we can all learn from each other!