Communication and Mutual Problem Solving

    Hello everyone! I’m so excited for this week’s blog post! I was looking at the calendar a few days ago and realized that I only have a few more posts left in the semester. It’s so crazy how fast time is flying by! This week we discussed communication and problem solving which I think are skills that we all need to understand and master. Our reading this week started off with a quote that really got me thinking. It says, “Your most important friendships should be with your own brothers and sisters and with your father and mother. Love your family. Be loyal to them. Have a genuine concern for your brothers and sisters. Help carry their load so you can say, like the lyrics of the song, ‘He ain’t heavy; he’s my brother’”.  With communication comes the importance of being able to recognize how tone, non-verbal, and verbal communication come in to play. Obviously, we need to choose the right words when we are communicating with people. We also need to recognize the tone we use because it greatly impacts the way our words are perceived. A few examples of non- verbal communication are touch, eye contact, and the faces we make. All of these things are important to how the message is taken.

    Communication can be a tough task to master, but it’s one we all need to take the time to master because it can greatly impact any relationship. We discussed an acronym for communication that I really loved and did further research on. The acronym E.A.R stands for empathy, assertiveness, and respect. In my opinion empathy is the key to communication. When someone is vulnerable enough to discuss a problem or concern, sometimes they just need their feelings validated. There are a few different forms of empathy. Thought empathy is when you summarize what the person said. Next you acknowledge how they are feelings based on what they expressed which is feeling empathy. You can also gently ask probing questions in order to learn more about what they are thinking and feeling. When moving on to assertiveness this is the time when you express your own ideas and feelings. You can use a phrase such as “I’m feeling (sad, hurt, anxious, upset, etc.). This step should be done in a way that is both tactful and direct. Lastly, respect ties the entire conversation together. You can express feelings in a way that is caring, respectful, and loving even when you might not completely agree. Respect can build the relationship and bond between each individual. 

    Before coming to college, I was not the best communicator. Instead of sharing my thoughts or feelings I would shut down and be very short with anyone who tried to talk to me. I hated talking about my feelings because I was scared of being vulnerable. Once I moved away from home I realized how important it is to communicate. I had to work harder at my relationship with my parents since I was so far away. I also realized how important it is to discuss problems when they arise. When my roommates would say or do something that upset me, I would bottle up my feelings and eventually they would explode. This obviously wasn’t the best way to handle the situation because I found myself becoming bitter towards them. This semester in particular I think I have become better at communicating with my roommates. It’s still hard to open up and let people in but I’ve noticed how much closer I have gotten to them as we talk to each other and work through problems. I’m excited to use the skills I have learned with my future friendships, relationships, and family.