Not Your Typical "Sex Talk"

 Hello everyone! Welcome back to another week of my blog. I was very skeptical about this week’s topic because it can be awkward and even controversial (Shocker right! I think I use the word controversial in this class more than any other class) Our topic this week was sexual intimacy and the importance of it in a marriage. All week I’ve been trying to think about what I wanted to discuss. Throughout class my teacher was referring to sex as “love making”. This might just be the child development major in me, but I strongly believe that we should refer to things like sex and body parts to the real name. I’ve learned that it’s important when raising children that you tell children the real names and don’t make up names in order for it to be more “appropriate”. Personally, I think it’s more common for people who are members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints because topics such as sex have become taboo within the church. Growing up my parents didn’t talk much about sex or any other type of physical intimacy. It might have been that way because I was never in a serious relationship, so they were never worried about me. I remember having “the talk” with my parents before we had the sex education class in 5^th grade. I don’t recall it being awkward or weird and I wish they would’ve been more open with me. I know they would’ve answered any questions I had, but it was always intimidating to ask them. I’ve discussed this topic with my roommates who are also members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter- Day Saints and they shared the same feelings with me. It’s sad that in the church sex is a taboo topic. I know it’s probably because we believe that we shouldn’t have sex until marriage, but I think when it’s not explained to adolescents it can lead them to figuring it out on their own. IN class we read from “A Parent’s Guide” which discussed a couple different principles for teaching children about intimacy. The following principles are the main focus of the chapter:

1.     Share your responsibility to teach with your spouse

2.     Teach your children by example

3.     Be consistent in your behavior

4.     Counsel with your children

5.     Pass righteous judgment on your children

6.     Provide a positive emotional climate in your home

7.     Hold family home evenings regularly

8.     Share your thoughts and feelings with your children

9.     Break the routine

10.  Express your love to your children regularly and frequently

My favorite quote from the chapter says, “To counsel with your children means to listen to them, give them advice, and teach them. This is very important, for as your children mature, your words become almost as important as your example. By giving your children spoken or written instructions and advice, you can prepare them to exercise their agency wisely, answer their questions, and help them understand the things they see in the world.” This can obviously be used in many different situations and applies to almost any scenario, but I want to bring it back to the idea of teaching children proper terms. The part of the quote that stuck out to me was the second sentence. As children mature the words parents use are just as important as their example. When parents create their own words instead of using the scientific terms it can lead to their children having a hard time discussing topics as sex or even using the word. I hope that when I have children my husband and I are able to have open discussions with our children and that they feel comfortable.