Blending Families

    Hello everyone! I’m sad to say that this is my last blog post. It’s so crazy how fast this semester has gone by. I have truly loved the opportunity I have had each week to reflect on the lessons and things I have learned. I was very skeptical about this class in the beginning and did not know what to expect. When I found out that I would have to write a blog each week I honestly considered dropping the class. Sharing my thoughts and opinions on topics that could be controversial scared me. I have grown so much throughout this course and I now have more confidence in sharing what I believe. 

    This week we talked about divorce and remarriage. This is a topic that hits close to home because my dad is remarried, and I also have another family member who has been divorced and remarried. I would like to focus today on blending families because I think it’s something that can be really hard for the parents and children. I found a great article from The Gottman Institute that has “Seven Tips for Stepfamily Success”.  Here are the Seven Tips: 

Set Realistic Expectations

It’s important for a couple to understand and anticipate difficulties and unique challenges when blending a family. It’s easy for them to forget that “blended families are not a restoration of what once existed, but rather a brand-new construction of family life.” When blended families are able to get past the difficult times and challenges, they can then create the right environment for their new family to grow. 

 

Communication is Key

Like I discussed in previous posts, in every relationship communication is the glue. Couples should learn how to communication effectively and not be afraid to discuss difficult topics when they come up. Using “I” statements to express how they are feeling can help the other person understand and can keep arguments from escalating. 

 

Parent Together, Not Separately

“Loyalty to your own child is real and valid and can feel very strong. This can make stepparent discipline a very delicate topic.” Be patient with the children because it takes time for trust and love to develop.

 

Create Your Own Unique Family System

The article used a metaphor for blended families that I loved. They are like stew that cooks slowly and takes time to bond and become unshakeable. Research shows that blended families don’t always feel like one until years later. Be patient and give yourself time to come together and develop as a family. Creating new family traditions can help with this. 

 

Stay Connected to Your Partner

Sharing goals as a couple and continuing to support each other is key to staying unifies. Daily conversations and regular date nights can help the relationship stay strong, romantic, and connected. 

 

Practice Patience and Understanding

“The blending of families is like a marathon, not a spring. Commit to the journey and find ways to enjoy and learn from each moment of happiness and frustration that comes with it. “

 

Stay the Course and Don’t Give Up

When things get hard with blending a family, parents should remember why they came together in the first place. It puts things in perspective and helps you understand why challenges are important. 

 

I love this article because I think it’s so helpful for couples who are trying to blend their families. The parents have a lot of pressure put on them to make the family dynamic work. It’s great that there are so many amazing resources that they can find and see what works best for their family. When parents recognize that it will take time to blend their families and recognize their children’s needs, they will be able to successfully create a new family dynamic. If you would like to read the article here is the link! https://www.gottman.com/blog/seven-tips-for-stepfamily-success/